static class SnippetDB {
  static List<S> fields;
  static List<List<S>> rows;
  
  *() {}
  
  *(S snippetIDOfGzippedMysqlDump) {
    importMySQLDump(gunzipToText(snippetIDOfGzippedMysqlDump));
  }
  
  void importMySQLDump(String dump) {
    System.out.println("Importing " + dump.length() + " chars.");
    Class importer = hotwire("#1000660");
    set(importer, "in", dump);
    callMain(importer);
    Map<String, List> tables = (Map) get(importer, "tables");
    Map<String, List> tableFields = (Map) get(importer, "tableFields");
    fields = tableFields.get("snippets_public");
    rows = tables.get("snippets_public");
  }
  
  S getField(List<S> row, S field) {
    int i = fields.indexOf(field);
    return i < 0 ? null : row.get(i);
  }
  
  List<List<S>> rowsOrderedBy(S field) {
    final int i = fields.indexOf(field);
    List<List<S>> list = new ArrayList<List<S>>(rows);
    sort(list, new Comparator<List<S>>() {
      public int compare(List<S> rowA, List<S> rowB) {
        S a = rowA.get(i), b = rowB.get(i);
        return a.compareTo(b);
      }
    });      
    return list;
  }
  
  public void finalize() {
    System.err.println("Note: SnippetDB released from memory.");
  }
}

Began life as a copy of #1000678